Communication

I spend roughly 97% of mi time trying to prepare for everything that’s going to happen places I’ll be, things people will do and say, sensory changes ect. . . If i can know and semi understand what going to happen or could happen i can try to prepare how to handle it, what do or write. But anything happens of script say i drop something or get asked a cuestión and I’m lost. And i even have key word scripts for instance if i hear the word ok i agree, i hear mi name i look ect. . . And then there are words. Allot of time i ‘speak’ in riddles or circles trying to get something out but unable to find the words so i try to make people dance around mi language to figure it out. But the other thing is that everything i do communicates things sometimes very important things that no one gets cuz it’s not verbal. For instance nodding mi head means something like i don’t know what’s going on but sure you’re right. Or the few words i use over and over (written) that have meaning that no one really gets such as Mew which i think translates like  need support our giving support even though I’m not able to understand/explain the issue. Even the fact that i do everything the same over and over explains that i don’t know what to do if stuff isn’t where it’s suppose to be (hence of script). There’s a message in most things that i can’t pin point out always know i should. But it works similar to the body language things neurotypical people have that i barely understand. Unfortunately neither side understands how the other communicates very well. But that doesn’t mean no one is trying.

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