Mí autism, mí normal

This cud also be called a closer look at what makes autism,  or perhaps what I can’t tell you, or that fine line between helping Y “curing”.
  So I have learned that I’m allergic to gluten. Oh that i have a sensory processing issue (amongst other things). These are both in MI fruit salad ( 3D model approach to ASD by donna williams). But I never knew things growing up. I never complained about the lights being brighter to me or the issues I had going potty. You want to know why? For me it was all I new, i figured all MI experiences was normal y wondered why me cud not cope like others. Most neurotypical ppl assume that something Es uncomfy then I sud know it’s wrong. But from birth most things have been painful for me. So to me uncomfy Es normal so how I wud I know better? Let’s take a look at gluten for a moment. All MI life me has struggled going potty. But after not having gluten for awhile that’s wen I noticed that i had bin having issues cuz now it was easier to go.
   There Es other examples such as always wearing sun glasses. Ppl thought I was being defiant by not taking them off, wat then not me knew was that lights Es so mush brighter to me. I didn’t hear of spd until adulthood. For most MI life I had no way to communicate in a way others understood that I cud not understand them. Even to this day since I not have many “behaviors” people tend to assume I am more capable than me really am. What they don’t get Es that those ‘behaviors’ was mi only way to express something wasn’t right. Now there’s no clue until I can’t do anything or a have a meltdown or shut down.
    Back to the fruit salad model. There are other things can be in such as motor apraxia or GI  issues or seizures or anxiety or so many other things. Basically ASD  Es a bunch of challenges/differences working together that make communication difficult. Many of these things can be worked on individually.
   No I’m not talking about a cure. I will always be autistic y i take comfort in that the same a Deaf person or LGBTQ person may take comfort En knowing there Es a community of others that can relate to MI challenges. However do I feel better not poisoning myself with gluten? Of course. It’s also more comfy to learn how to work with MI sensory differences so that I’m not always being tortured.
    Because of the challenges we have had most our lives if not since birth prolly also gives us a unique way of thinking of the world since we has such a unique perspective due to our experiences.
   Can u imagine not being to make your hand wave? Or seeing everything like a Picasso painting y al sounds es jumbled? Or not being able to eat without getting hurt cuz you can’t feel your mouth? Or every piece of clothing feeling like it’s biting you or squeezing you? Wat if it took you minutes or even days to understand wat somebody said to you y by then it’s too late, plus you can’t even tell them that because they assumed you understood then and they have sobe forgotten the whole conversation? Wat about trying to communicate in a foreign country but every time you do you are told to be quiet or stop that simply cuz you are not capable of using the same language? Or needing to hit your arm to keep the blood flowing, but being told to stop, Y you have no way to express your en pain or even to know that wat your feeling isn’t normal?
    Many people of all kinds feel the pressure of society to confirm. But why? And what if your simply not able to? Why Es it so important to look like others? Unless it’s a safety concern every body deserves the right to be themselves. And wen your in a world were you struggling with so called basic processes that others take for granted (such controlling your own body or processing wat you see y hear), naturally you feel the need to cling to what can control And to seek validation that it is truly ok to be yourself.
   Yes I understand that you may be frustrated trying figure out wat going on with me, however can you understand that I feel this way to about every person I meet?





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