I want to warn you that this is has violence. Not a lot but if you’re easy upset maybe be careful reading. I’m writing this because I need to do something and because I have some questions if anyone can answer them.
Yesterday at 0230ish in the morning I had a migraine. I was going to get a special medicine when the pharmacy opened. So special I can only have 6 a month. Me and Allie wanted to sleep but my body could not be still so she had to help keep it from hurting itself. The music next door was super loud with boom boom boom. And loud voices. After all the time I learn the steps to ask them turn it down. I put please on my Dynavox app (see pic for message). I slowly manage to get up and walk and knock on the door. I don’t think they heard me for a bit because they kept yelling. I don’t know what they was saying. Then a person open the door and me push the button to speak. But the person hit me a few times. I don’t know how much because I started a flashback. To clarify I did not hit back. I went to cover my face and drop the iPad and the screen cracked. At some point I heard myself screaming. I calmed down ish and got up from the hall floor (I was curl into a ball) and crawl into my room. There was blood on my nose and my eye was funny color. I took a pic to show the housing lady because I didn’t know what to do. I had another flashbacks and according to my pictures it took 30minutes or so to calm down. When I did I swing and took a picture of the message to show her to and sent. I could not sleep. Hours later I sent the only word I could think of -mew. Her came and took me to police and then hospital. They took lots of pictures and talked a lot. I’m could not keep up with everything. At some point I got to leave. They took me to a place and I got to get a frappé from Starbucks 1st (my brekky because I had only had water all day). But there was a problem and then another lady came – I think also from the program. She was going to fix it, but then the person would not take me because of Allie. Even when we show it was against the law. So they took me somewhere else. I was scared to go outside but Allie needed to potty, so after some time I made it and we went behind the building fast and back inside. In my head I keep thinking of the time I was kidnapped. I keep expecting to be hurt again. When people hurt me before they followed me and keep hurting me. I tell myself he is different but I don’t know. He’s really tall and maybe 2 times my lbs. Anyway I could not sleep good and when I did it was super bad dreams so awake is better. Allie needed to walk again this morning. It took me a long time, I started to cry even before I was dressed(which made worse because my mama used to hurt me if I cry). But we did it. I walk her to the corner. A little bit more than yesterday night. I’m telling myself when I can make it to the store I can get a stuffie. But it may take a few days. Allie is being nice about it. I think she likes the tv, we don’t have 1 at home. I tried to tell a person about what happened and sent a pic of my face from what happened. They got upset because they can’t see me (this person has seen me have a calmer flashback and made it worse because they didn’t understand so I don’t want to be around them when I’m like this). They are upset that I don’t want a hug. I’m confused. I think if someone tells you they got hurt then you should be nice and help them feel better not worse. Right now every time a person steps to close I step back, everything that touches me my body try to hit to protect me. It’s not on purpose even at the hospital the Doctor was try help and my body didn’t like. Even more hard then normal.
So I have 2 questions- 1) is it bad to ask people to turn down music?
2) am I wrong to think that since I was hurt the person should care about making me feel better? I’m kind of mad at them. Even when I told them I think they should be nice they only said I hope you feel better, and then made it about them again. (The person is a functioning adult with no major difference that makes it hard to deal with people or understand feelings and words especially at the simpler words I use)