I am write of this because 1 to help me think of it and mine feelings 2 to help me accept all of myself and not think me am bad 3 because parents talk of it but us children not able to mostly.
So lots of parents and people that work with us call low function autism know of all kinds of poo problems and not understand why or what to do. This is my story and maybe it can help but everyone is different.
The other day something happened. It do not happen much now but sometimes. I was outside and had to go. When I have to go I have to go now. But there was no potty because I was outside by the lake. I try to start walk home with Allie but after a few minutes it happened. Lucky me I wear diapers for incontience so no mess up clothes. And no people was by me to say anything as me was go home to shower. I remember when I used to play with it like it was play do or something. I don’t do that now but I did. Yep me was one of those who smear.
I have tummy problems. I have GERD and can’t eat gluten or much dairy or caffeine and have a few other allergies. All of them but gluten the doctor say when small because in my family. But when I was small I eat lots of gluten when I eat anything. Pancakes is my favorite. And soft cookies. And I would eat some kinds of pasta sometimes. I not potty normal. I would go days not have to and it would hurt or some days my tummy would hurt and me go lots. I did not understand what was happening. But I did not like it. Lots of people talked at me but I did not understand what they mean. When it happened I wanted it gone because it did not feel good to have it push on my skin. The rocks was hurt. So me did what could to get it out, take it with my hands. I like to fingerpaint with paint it feels good. Well in my fingers the poo was kind of like that or crayon so well me color because that is what fingerpaint and crayons is for. And it had a magic power, doing that can make someone come and clean me and it can also make them go away if I was hurting. Because I don’t cry or smile like other people nobody knows when I was in pain or happy. And I can not talk so they did not know what I wanted. But that worked. When me was older they try to show me how to use the potty. Well it is a lot of steps and me was confused. One day they start use pictures and small steps and work with me lots even hand over hand. And once me understand what to do, they had to teach me when. So with pictures and practice of when my tummy hurt me learn. But the thing is me don’t know until the last minute. But they made a picture schedule of when me go the most and us try for that every day. By learning where to go to get clean and be alone when hurt it stop some of the issues. But not all. They give me some medicine to help me go better and also some drinks because I do not eat good. I hate toilet paper. So me use baby wipes the kind that can go in the potty. I was not in trouble for playing with the water because it is more easy to clean. I needed a mirror, I did not trust the potty to sit on and it was easier not to sit all the way and I also wanted to know me was super clean. I was given lots of fingerpaint and big crayons in my room and the bathroom. And when they made the fingerpaint soap and bathroom crayons me got those to. And a few years ago someone say try no gluten. And for me help lots, me go better most days not hurt even if me not drink that medicine and less seizures to. By they I don’t mean family I mean programs and foster care because my family was gone by then. Was any of that easy no. It took years. Me was like 16 or something when start get better at potty and not play with poo. Me was 23 when start eat less gluten and stop thinking of the potty with pain. But still at 25 me had a uh oh. But that’s ok. It was not on purpose and me did my best. My tummy has problems that’s all. So maybe some of this stuff can help you or someone you know with potty issues. But I will tell you what won’t work good yelling or being mean. Making someone scared who doesn’t understand or can’t help it will make them process less and become scared of you, poo, and the potty. It will make them think they are bad person and not know why. That hurts a long long time trust me. I have never been able to learn when I need to pee. My body can’t feel that and my bladder is small. It is not my fault. Instead of being mean to me for it like my family did, I was one day put where even though they wanted me to use they potty they also help me learn to clean myself and was never mean. They know me try and give me cookies for every step. Like when me was uncomfortable me would try take it off. I wasn’t being not polite, it was behavior to get clean. Did me have to learn to be in private yes but never in trouble for try my best. Taking off clothes is communication like all behavior. Maybe the person is hot or itchy or the clothes hurt. See why and what else you can do to help. Maybe certain types of shirts feel better, I don’t like jeans or sleeves or tags. Do the best to help not make it worse by make person anxiety or scare or more overstimulated. I want to put a last thing. Donna Williams is my favorite famous adult with autism. She has a YouTube video of poo issues to. But me disagree with one thing, but I guess it can work? She says for people like me who used poo to get time alone in they space you should have everyone come in anyway and smell to teach the person that it do not work. I don’t like that because you are not helping the person or respect them. I think a better thing to do is to be normal like come in to clean but don’t scare them with everyone coming in and give them a better way to get time alone. Maybe a picture to put on the door or a bell to ring or something. Show them that if they can do that you will understand and respect they need a few minutes. And the same thing if you think they do it to get attention because they are alone lots. Come in quiet to clean but nothing extra. But give them a better way to get your attention. And for both I think it’s a good idea to have a set time everyday to spend together and to be alone to. But remember we have feelings to. We may be in pain or sad or something and not know how to show it but having time together or alone may help feel better and not have meltdowns later.