I had a horrible think earlier. If the metra train has emergency I won’t be able to get out the emergency window unless some random person decides to pick me up out of my chair and throw me out. And same thing in buildings where you can’t take the elevator in case of fire or emergency. And I can’t say anything or ask for help if like I’m in a new apartment that catches fire or a person comes in. Me did learn can text 911, but what if that’s not fast enough or Me not by my Dynavox. I know Allie can try to get help but most people don’t listen to dogs since they can’t use humans talk, especially if she not has her service dog vest on. I’m almost as helpless as my stuffies in an emergency. And I’m not so sure of strangers wanting to help me. Most people at least here seem very much all about themselves. And in emergency most people only think of themselves, or if they has family that needs them. I don’t have anyone besides Allie. I know I’m not the only person that faces this everyday and even some people has it worse. But most of them has family or caretakers to help and make sure they ok. I don’t mind being different, I love me, but some things are kinda scary of not being able talk or move your body. What if my body hits someone on its own who don’t understand it’s my differences, not me wanting to. A few weeks ago I hit physical therapist, what if she didn’t know I wasn’t in control? The wrong person may try to beat me up or press charges or put me in a psychiatric hospital again. Did you know that a girl was just killed by her mom with permission from the court? What if they do that to me? It’s been tried before when me was small. I’m not just a burden on people or society. I’m a great friend who loves to laugh and go to the zoo. Just because I need help doesn’t mean my life isn’t worth living. But people with disabilities die earlier. Some things can’t be helped but some things can. I encourage everyone to look for videos of people who need and have eye tracking to communicate. They have limited or no control of their body but they are still people who have feelings and thinks. Nobody gets to decide if someone life is worth living. How is it ok to tell people they can’t kill them selves but someone else can decide if they should die. Why would you rather kill a person then find ways to improve they life?
My scary reality