Autism, alexithymia, and depression 

I’m already on here so may as well finally remember to type this. Me has been work on for some time and me thinks is done. Me almost called this depression or politeness? Sometimes people thinks me am depressed. Usually it’s very easy to say no me not and most that knows me super can agree is not. But the last little bit me has to think on it. Is me? It’s not like would know. Alexithymia makes it almost impossible for me to understand mine feelings or even others be it sad or mad or hungry or cold or something else. Now me knows that they say some people on the ASD spectrum shows depression by avoidance more than sadness or other more neurotypical ways. But the thing is even if me can almost agree am avoiding things and people me has other reasons. 1 of them being polite and not wanting to upset people. You know the if you have nothing nice to say then not say nothing. Besides me likes make people smile not make them upset. And me not wanting peoples think is all of me and me not care of them problems to or that me only wants them when needs things and not just to has fun. And also a lot of things is just hard and hurts and not always possible. Even typing can be so hard. Me has always had problems with words/language thanks to nonverbal autism and aphasia, but now it’s even more hard, even using a switch can be hard. And all of it takes time and just is not always worth it unless someone else starts and me not wanting ignore them. And then there’s crying which is something me can blame on ms, me used to never cry but the last few years it slowly became a thing even tho me not usually feel sad. And the thinks on being a burden. The thing is how much can you really call that a silly think just from depression when on fb so many days is stories of people like me being neglected or killed by those supposed to care for them and so many people are just like it’s understandable because all of the stress and put that with my personal past of people hurting me or leaving me. Some people think you can tell someone is depressed because of barely eating or sleeping. But for me I’m barely able to eat because of choking, and I’ve had insomnia and sleeping problems mine whole life like many with autism or ptsd. Staying in bed for days and lack of interest is also physical reasons. Well I still have interest just not ability. The thing is I’m not sure you can say for sure if me has depression or not. It’s been a thing mine old therapist used to think of because of mine autism and alexithymia. And now with the new challenges it’s even more hard. But you know a thing him did say was even if me was it wasn’t mental illness. That it was a normal response to what me was going thru. And honestly if me am now me thinks the same is true. I’m going thru a lot and in addition there’s some pretty scary things on the news and Facebook that is relevant to me.  The best me can do is try communicate with mine support people best me can and do what we can to make things more easy. And this is true for anyone with differences/disabilities or in general. Even if for some people taking meds for depression is part of that. For me I’m personal immune to those and most meds even pain killers. At the end of the day people need to understand that even tho depression can definitely be a serious mental illness, it can also be a normal response to depressing things. And to never ever dismiss how a person feels or what is going thru because you think that being sad for more than a few minutes must mean something is wrong with them brain. Like all the people most especially teens that get in the hospital for depression or even anger or drugs and put on meds and then put right back into abuse or homelessness. When maybe then not need meds so much if someone was able to help with them life. But also even if it mental illness like mine ptsd and OCD you should still be understanding and not dismiss because ‘it’s all in my head’. Like dumbledore says of course it’s all happening in your mind but why on earth should that mean it is not real. Ok I’m done and if you not remember most all of this just remember to be supportive and understanding of what a person is going thru. 

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