I don’t want to spend this post on the sad things. So instead me am going to type of Cheetos (my person, not the food). He’s really been everything you can need or want in a support person. For the first time ever me feel like someone is safe and really loves and accepts me. You know how some people like to say ‘until all the pieces fit’ when they talk of autism? Well maybe they just need to look more hard. Cheetos sees how all my pieces fit. He’s even able to communicate with me when I’ve completely lost words. He’s able to send emojis and other pictures to me and understand what me sends. He doesn’t know how amazing that is. And the other day even tho he was not feeling good he still took care of me, and even went outside to get me something. Some things he does is big things like picking me up and transferring me a bunch of times during the day. Other stuff is kind of small but means the most like turning on the captions and giving me taste of stuff even tho me not can really eat. Oh the other day was him bday. So we went to this place with him friends and play mini golf. Now that not seems like a big deal. Except mini golf is not accessible. And almost impossible being quadriplegic. So he had to lift my chair a whole bunch and help me bunches. At first Me was feel bad because it took me forever and Me was thinking it was keep him from having good time, but after time Me see he was still having fun with him friends and me start has fun to. It was nice to be included and accommodated so easily. He was super encouraging and patient and keep making me laugh And he kept checking in making sure me was doing ok and if needed anything, not that me was going say if did and mess up him time with friends. Me thinks the best part was go karts. It was mine first time, they carry me and put me as a passenger next time to him, and was fun like motorcycle. I’m so used to people hurting me or taking advantage and making it obvious how hard it is to care for, even before me was quadriplegic. It’s super amazing to has someone so wonderful who always does whatever he can to take of me needs and never complains. He’s always doing so much more than me expect him to. Ok so the other day in the car me fell to the side on the window and then later on the side on him. Me was be funny and say rather fall on him than the window anytime, and he was joke say he’d rather me fall for him than on him. It was funny at the time. But me thinks me am or did. I’m not exactly sure what falling (in love) is supposed to feel like. But me has definitely had changes in my feelings of him. And me has see little changes of him around me, so maybe he’s falling to. All good things. Mine only thing is me not wants it to end. Me uses him to push myself to do mine best. I may not get better, but am going try or at least try not get worse. He makes my ptsd and OCD so much better even when not had meds. Me just wish love could also magically heal my body to.
A happy post